Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
