I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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