IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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