So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
