i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
