so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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