The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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