drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
