high people should be assigned attendants
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
