I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
