I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She's the barista slut.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
