the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
