Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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