Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
