wrigley field is MILF paradise
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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