you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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