I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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