I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
