the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
