Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
