Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
They took my balls.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
