Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
