you will always have a special place in my vag
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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