hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
