party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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