Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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