You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
