You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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