all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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