there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Is it penis luge time yet?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
