She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's blow job season.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
