Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
