You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
