im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
