You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Damn victory sex feels great
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
