I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
