I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
