Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
