last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
