I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
