How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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