I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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