i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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