yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Acid is not a monday night drug
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
