your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
