No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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