You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
