my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
3pm strippers are depressing
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
