just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
