Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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