she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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