How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
